The Cost Of Pleasure | Pleasure and Pain: Two Sides Of The Same Coin

 “Pleasure and Pain are Two Sides of The Same Coin” ~ Oneness Phenomenon Avatar

Sitting in a meditation hall filled with a few hundred people in southern India I wondered what the heck he was saying. Pleasure seemed like a good thing to me at the time. Pleasure, happiness, joy, bliss, it was all the same, wasn’t it? And then I went a little deeper…

The cost of pleasure is always paid with pain (suffering), because pleasure and pain are two sides of the same coin.  The face on both sides of this coin is the ego. The ego arrives in humans around the age of 2-4 years old. You may notice if you watch a child it is at this time that their eyes will change, just a bit. Suddenly there is a “me” or “mine.” At first it may seem cute, and then not so much.

You could look at the ego as a jar for the many parts, or personalities of a human being. Each experience allows for a new and unique part (anger, fear, happiness, contentment, excitement, etc.) to be added to the container. Different circumstances or triggers will call up any given part, in any given order, at any given time. Sometimes multiple parts will arise at the same time, and sometimes parts or personalities may not even know about each other. I’m not talking about multiple personality disorder; just ordinary mentally stable people have parts within themselves, which do not know about each other. Have you ever heard someone say something in one moment and then a day later contradict themselves? This is an example of parts within their container popping up and out at different times. Both things they stated are completely true to them, in the moment they were said, because of the part that was talking. Of course this is an extremely simplified version of a complex system but the goal is to give your mind a picture of the ego and how it keeps personalities alive.

So how does this have anything to do with pleasure and pain? Well, the ego’s job is to survive and to do that it will create an idea and aim to have its person fixate on that idea. It could be a question that needs an answer; it could be an object of affection that once obtained would be “the thing” that would make all suffering disappear. But here is where it is interesting. The ego will carefully craft the desired idea so that once it is obtained it will automatically lead a person back to pain, because a new object of affection (or a new question) will be introduced to a different personality within a person; which will begin the cycle once again. It is quite a cleaver program!

There are multiple ways to see the program and begin to dissolve it. Because of its complexity there are many levels; however I will focus on just one simple technique for you today.

Start by noticing what things trigger different personalities within yourself. Is there something that causes pleasure in your life but always goes sideways, and you find yourself starting from the beginning? What is that thing? An example could be a getting a certain car, job, house, or relationship. If the thing is taken away, are you in pain? If so, you know that was a game of the ego because what you were actually experiencing was pleasure, which is conditional.

When the ego has dissolved true happiness will come from the heart; there will be a sense of knowing when happiness is present. There will be a connectedness with true happiness that cannot be tinkered with by the ego, the mind, or negative thoughts.  Happiness just is, and then there can be sadness, or other emotions that flow freely. The expansion of life is about feeling all feelings no matter what arises. There could be happiness, sadness, anger, rage, fear, and once fully connected there will not be a preference for one or the other because you are experiencing life and nothing can shake you, because you realize at a deeper level, that this is why you came here. 

This is Prayer

Yes, sometimes angels or guides talk to me, and sometimes it gets so intense that I am required to write it down. What is being said is not always for me directly, but an answer to the collective calling that is going to heaven. I have notebooks full of this stuff. This is one of those times I had to write, and this one seems like it needs to be shared. Even if it scares me to do so. This is their message today as humanity is experiencing the shootings in America, and anger is having its way with how civilization is living. I try to write it purely as it comes to me and emphasizing the images or words that they say the loudest or with a visual picture as they are talking. It may or may not resonate with you, but here it is... 


"When a side is chosen, your heart has already lost. 

The burning heart of Christ consciousness.
Feels kind of "Da vinci Code," but whatever.

It's okay to tell your mind that it does not have to chose a side. I encourage you to go past that, go past the mind, which is only good at separation and sides (in this situation). When you go past the story you end up in your heart. In you heart you will feel the pain and the hurt, anger and rage that has bubbled up in humanity. If you are a warrior you might be able to sit with those feelings. It is not comfortable. You may feel like running away, it may be easier to return back into your mind and start the deadly cyclical pattern of hashing out the stories. The mind will automatically have you choosing a side. Remember once the mind has you rationally choosing a side and providing you with all the back up information of why your side is right or just, the heart has lost. Now, if you can, if you choose too, take seven deep breathes. Put your hands on your heart center. Ask to feel the feelings that others are not able too. Those who are in their minds are not in their hearts. It is impossible. What is it that they are scared of? Fear of feeling, fear of letting the anger hit their nervous systems. If one was truly angry they would let the anger sink into their body. Saying one is angry and lashing out at others is not being angry. Being angry is feeling anger and going inward. It is not about another, it would be about them(self). Truly feeling anger does not lash out at another. It integrates into their body, into their own nervous system. It may be painful in the heart center. Depending on where your anger is stored in the body, certain body parts may start to feel intense. Do you realize by sitting with this, letting this integrate and burn off through your body you are burning off the anger and rage of humanity? Do you realize that this is what being a true warrior is all about? Do you realize that all burning tapers off and eventually become extinct? You are doing what most run away from. Burning off the anger and rage of humanity is not going to be done through laws or rules or rallies, because the very nature of those laws and rules and rallies means that sides have been taken and the mind is in control. One cannot be in their mind and their heart at the same time. Healing humanity can only be done through the heart. When will you go there? Please go there." 

The Power of Authentic Ugly Cries after Divorce

I recently read a fun article on Huffpost titled "5 Signs You've Chosen An Emotionally Healthy Partner" and it guided me to contemplate the little things that I chose to do, in order to get to where I wanted to go. I am now in a happy, healthy, and flourishing relationship, here's how it started. 

One thing I needed to do before I found my wonderful husband was to list all of the things I wanted in a partner. I was in the middle of a breakdown and in a very humble place after a failed marriage. My list was very direct, and it came straight from my heart, it came from the essence of my being. At the time I wrote my list I had no time to mess around. I was calling on God with the biggest S.O.S. that I could create. The desperation of a girl who knew there was more for herself, either by herself, or with a very specific partner. After all I/we had things to do, and a world to change. (Even in my weakest point in life, my Earth objective was clear as crystal.)

Before I "technically" new what meditation was, my first meditation came during this desperate time. I lite three candles in the middle of the night during my 'ugly cries.'I stared into those candles and did this:

I looked at myself. I asked "Am I the type of person, that is on this type of person's list?" I got to see all of my ugliness. I was mean and defensive. I created stories from my fears and projected them in my relationships. I was not what people would call a "nice girl." I was also guilty of giving so much that I resented it, causing more fear, anger and even rage. I could see the type of man I wanted in my life would not deserve the type of venom I was unleashing. No one deserved this. Was this a pretty process? Nope, sure wasn't. But it was mine, and it was real, and it lead me away from a sad place that I can only recall to share the experience, to a life of bliss and unlimited growth.

What did I do about my newly realized venom? That is for another share, but I will tell you it took me around the world a few times and even more importantly it took me deep within myself. Before I knew about the book Eat, Pray, Love - I lived Eat, Pray, Love with a little more glitter and a little more magic. 

Ultimately I learned this:

♡♡♡ The best way to chose a healthy partner for yourself, is to be a healthy person for yourself on every level. Be the kind of person you'd want to be around. It's not only fun for others, it's fun for you. It makes a for a really great journey ♡♡♡