Tuesday, May 10, 2016
The Power of Authentic Ugly Cries after Divorce
I recently read a fun article on Huffpost titled "5 Signs You've Chosen An Emotionally Healthy Partner" and it guided me to contemplate the little things that I chose to do, in order to get to where I wanted to go. I am now in a happy, healthy, and flourishing relationship, here's how it started.
One thing I needed to do before I found my wonderful husband was to list all of the things I wanted in a partner. I was in the middle of a breakdown and in a very humble place after a failed marriage. My list was very direct, and it came straight from my heart, it came from the essence of my being. At the time I wrote my list I had no time to mess around. I was calling on God with the biggest S.O.S. that I could create. The desperation of a girl who knew there was more for herself, either by herself, or with a very specific partner. After all I/we had things to do, and a world to change. (Even in my weakest point in life, my Earth objective was clear as crystal.)
Before I "technically" new what meditation was, my first meditation came during this desperate time. I lite three candles in the middle of the night during my 'ugly cries.'I stared into those candles and did this:
I looked at myself. I asked "Am I the type of person, that is on this type of person's list?" I got to see all of my ugliness. I was mean and defensive. I created stories from my fears and projected them in my relationships. I was not what people would call a "nice girl." I was also guilty of giving so much that I resented it, causing more fear, anger and even rage. I could see the type of man I wanted in my life would not deserve the type of venom I was unleashing. No one deserved this. Was this a pretty process? Nope, sure wasn't. But it was mine, and it was real, and it lead me away from a sad place that I can only recall to share the experience, to a life of bliss and unlimited growth.
What did I do about my newly realized venom? That is for another share, but I will tell you it took me around the world a few times and even more importantly it took me deep within myself. Before I knew about the book Eat, Pray, Love - I lived Eat, Pray, Love with a little more glitter and a little more magic.
Ultimately I learned this:
♡♡♡ The best way to chose a healthy partner for yourself, is to be a healthy person for yourself on every level. Be the kind of person you'd want to be around. It's not only fun for others, it's fun for you. It makes a for a really great journey ♡♡♡