The Cost Of Pleasure | Pleasure and Pain: Two Sides Of The Same Coin

 “Pleasure and Pain are Two Sides of The Same Coin” ~ Oneness Phenomenon Avatar

Sitting in a meditation hall filled with a few hundred people in southern India I wondered what the heck he was saying. Pleasure seemed like a good thing to me at the time. Pleasure, happiness, joy, bliss, it was all the same, wasn’t it? And then I went a little deeper…

The cost of pleasure is always paid with pain (suffering), because pleasure and pain are two sides of the same coin.  The face on both sides of this coin is the ego. The ego arrives in humans around the age of 2-4 years old. You may notice if you watch a child it is at this time that their eyes will change, just a bit. Suddenly there is a “me” or “mine.” At first it may seem cute, and then not so much.

You could look at the ego as a jar for the many parts, or personalities of a human being. Each experience allows for a new and unique part (anger, fear, happiness, contentment, excitement, etc.) to be added to the container. Different circumstances or triggers will call up any given part, in any given order, at any given time. Sometimes multiple parts will arise at the same time, and sometimes parts or personalities may not even know about each other. I’m not talking about multiple personality disorder; just ordinary mentally stable people have parts within themselves, which do not know about each other. Have you ever heard someone say something in one moment and then a day later contradict themselves? This is an example of parts within their container popping up and out at different times. Both things they stated are completely true to them, in the moment they were said, because of the part that was talking. Of course this is an extremely simplified version of a complex system but the goal is to give your mind a picture of the ego and how it keeps personalities alive.

So how does this have anything to do with pleasure and pain? Well, the ego’s job is to survive and to do that it will create an idea and aim to have its person fixate on that idea. It could be a question that needs an answer; it could be an object of affection that once obtained would be “the thing” that would make all suffering disappear. But here is where it is interesting. The ego will carefully craft the desired idea so that once it is obtained it will automatically lead a person back to pain, because a new object of affection (or a new question) will be introduced to a different personality within a person; which will begin the cycle once again. It is quite a cleaver program!

There are multiple ways to see the program and begin to dissolve it. Because of its complexity there are many levels; however I will focus on just one simple technique for you today.

Start by noticing what things trigger different personalities within yourself. Is there something that causes pleasure in your life but always goes sideways, and you find yourself starting from the beginning? What is that thing? An example could be a getting a certain car, job, house, or relationship. If the thing is taken away, are you in pain? If so, you know that was a game of the ego because what you were actually experiencing was pleasure, which is conditional.

When the ego has dissolved true happiness will come from the heart; there will be a sense of knowing when happiness is present. There will be a connectedness with true happiness that cannot be tinkered with by the ego, the mind, or negative thoughts.  Happiness just is, and then there can be sadness, or other emotions that flow freely. The expansion of life is about feeling all feelings no matter what arises. There could be happiness, sadness, anger, rage, fear, and once fully connected there will not be a preference for one or the other because you are experiencing life and nothing can shake you, because you realize at a deeper level, that this is why you came here. 

This is Prayer

Yes, sometimes angels or guides talk to me, and sometimes it gets so intense that I am required to write it down. What is being said is not always for me directly, but an answer to the collective calling that is going to heaven. I have notebooks full of this stuff. This is one of those times I had to write, and this one seems like it needs to be shared. Even if it scares me to do so. This is their message today as humanity is experiencing the shootings in America, and anger is having its way with how civilization is living. I try to write it purely as it comes to me and emphasizing the images or words that they say the loudest or with a visual picture as they are talking. It may or may not resonate with you, but here it is... 


"When a side is chosen, your heart has already lost. 

The burning heart of Christ consciousness.
Feels kind of "Da vinci Code," but whatever.

It's okay to tell your mind that it does not have to chose a side. I encourage you to go past that, go past the mind, which is only good at separation and sides (in this situation). When you go past the story you end up in your heart. In you heart you will feel the pain and the hurt, anger and rage that has bubbled up in humanity. If you are a warrior you might be able to sit with those feelings. It is not comfortable. You may feel like running away, it may be easier to return back into your mind and start the deadly cyclical pattern of hashing out the stories. The mind will automatically have you choosing a side. Remember once the mind has you rationally choosing a side and providing you with all the back up information of why your side is right or just, the heart has lost. Now, if you can, if you choose too, take seven deep breathes. Put your hands on your heart center. Ask to feel the feelings that others are not able too. Those who are in their minds are not in their hearts. It is impossible. What is it that they are scared of? Fear of feeling, fear of letting the anger hit their nervous systems. If one was truly angry they would let the anger sink into their body. Saying one is angry and lashing out at others is not being angry. Being angry is feeling anger and going inward. It is not about another, it would be about them(self). Truly feeling anger does not lash out at another. It integrates into their body, into their own nervous system. It may be painful in the heart center. Depending on where your anger is stored in the body, certain body parts may start to feel intense. Do you realize by sitting with this, letting this integrate and burn off through your body you are burning off the anger and rage of humanity? Do you realize that this is what being a true warrior is all about? Do you realize that all burning tapers off and eventually become extinct? You are doing what most run away from. Burning off the anger and rage of humanity is not going to be done through laws or rules or rallies, because the very nature of those laws and rules and rallies means that sides have been taken and the mind is in control. One cannot be in their mind and their heart at the same time. Healing humanity can only be done through the heart. When will you go there? Please go there." 

DECORATING MY TEMPLE

Dedicated to the little girl who was scared of everything on the horizon, feared what she did not know, judged what she did not understand and never gave up on remembering the Light... 

Nothing in Life is Permanent 

I walked into the small meditation room not really knowing what to expect. Immediately I felt a presence of something huge and loving. It was thick and if it was a color it would be a golden fog. I sat down and started crying. Tears flowed out of my eyes in a manner that I had only experienced once before except this time the emotion behind it was not of sadness or despair. I was sobbing for no logical reason and there was an intense amount of love and bliss surrounding my body. There was something pure and limitless about it. In hindsight I realize that I had experienced this feeling a few times in church when I was a small girl and I had experienced it again in my adult life when visiting the Golden City in Southern India.

This room was special; I came here with a specific list of intentions. The feeling of floating and no mind was strong but I told myself I'd try to stay grounded and I’d remember my list no matter what, saying every item out loud. So I started talking, “My intention here is to heal any sadness and hurt I’ve caused to others or others have caused to me, to remove any blocks stopping me from increasing the financial abundance in my life, to liberate my ancestors to the highest light of heaven and to clear any negative karma I have acquired through all of my lifetimes (male and female) connecting all of these lessons into this body, now, so that I may be a pure vessel for the Divine to flow through and make use of.” Looking back it seems like quite an extensive and heavy list of requests, but at the time it was all that was there. It was all that I could focus on and it was flowing straight from my heart.

In the moment of saying my intentions out loud I felt like I had floated to a very special temple. This temple is a real life location in Southern India. The first time I visited this temple I was on a journey of self-discovery, it was my 1^st time traveling outside of the United States by myself and of all places to test my travel skills, I picked an isolated place in the middle of nowhere in Southern India. It turns out there was no better place to find myself than in the middle of nowhere, completely lost.

During my 1st soIo trip abroad I had randomly met a group of amazing people from Norway and they became my travel companions. They happened to be traveling to the same temple as me (2 hour away from Chennai) and we decided to share a cab. After some horrible communication barriers and getting lost for an extra 3 hours I suddenly started laughing. The laughter was uncontrollable and there were tears running down my eyes, it felt like the top of my head had something pouring into it and my body felt light and full of energy. The laughter was pure bliss, and then Lise one of my new friends started laughing as well. We were looking at each other just laughing ourselves to pieces. Still riding in the cab I looked up and in the distance I could see the most majestic white temple I had ever laid my eyes on.  I instantly had an understanding that the energy field of the temple was having an effect on my kudalini (causing the bliss to run through my body). Little did I know that THIS was when my adventure and my life began.

 | My special temple in Southern India | 

Back in the little mediation room in Iowa, USA the tears, and the laughter and the bliss were rushing through my body. I had received a clear answer that, “YES, everything that you wish for you will receive.” I also saw a vision of a specific piece of sacred geometry. This vision was one of the designs on the top floor of that very special temple in Southern India. I saw it emerge from my back and lay directly on the opposite side of my heart chakra. It looked like a tattoo. It felt like it had been there before and it felt like it was ready to be there again.

Many more mystical things happened in that meditation room and perhaps I will post about that in the future. Regarding the vision I saw and felt on my back, after I had some time to integrate the energy more insights came to my awareness.

1. Nothing in life is permanent.

2. This isn’t your 1^st time having this tattoo.

3. This symbol comes to you when you are on the path to your purpose (the reason I came to Earth). 

4. You are always completely taken care of.

Three days after this experience I decided to get a better understanding of what this symbol meant. I knew nothing about it. This is what I found: It is called a Sri Yantra (Sri Chakra) and it is super awesome. 

| The Sri Yantra I visualized and focused on while singing the Moola Mantra during my 4.5 hour long tattoo process. |

Sri Yantra

Sri yantra, also known as Sri Chakra, is called the King of all yantras because all other yantras derive from it. In its three dimensional forms Sri Yantra is said to represent Mount Meru, the cosmic mountain at the center of the universe.

The Sri Yantra is conceived as a place of spiritual pilgrimage. It is a representation of the cosmos at the macrocosmic level and of the human body at the microcosmic level (each of the circuits correspond to a chakra of the body).

Sri Yantra is first referred to in an Indonesian inscription dating to the seventh century C.E. It may have existed in India, its country of origin, long before the time of its introduction to Indonesia.

The Sri Yantra is a configuration of nine interlocking triangles, surrounded by two circles of lotus petals with the whole encased within a gated frame, called the "earth citadel". The nine interlocking triangles centered around the bindu (the central point of the yantra) are drawn by the superimposition of five downward pointing triangles, representing Shakti ; the female principle and four upright triangles, representing Shiva ; the male principle. The nine interlocking triangles form forty three small triangles each housing a presiding deity associated with particular aspects of existence.

Man's spiritual journey from the stage of material existence to ultimate enlightenment is mapped on the Sri Yantra. The spiritual journey is taken as a pilgrimage in which every step is an ascent to the center, a movement beyond one's limited existence, and every level is nearer to the goal. Such a journey is mapped in stages, and each of these stages corresponds with one of the circuits of which the Sri Yantra is composed from the outer plane to the bindu in the center.

The Tattoo Process

It was as simple as Googling "Sri Yantra Tattoo." There is actually a tattoo shop with that namesake. It is a place that focuses on Sacred Geometry and was clearly where I needed to go. I booked the appointment and both the flights and hotel. Six months later we were on our way to San Fransisco!

After a stop to pick up some healthy healing foods we were in Oakland meeting Dillon Forte of Sri Yantra Tattoo. In my opinion Dillon is someone who is blessed to have found his calling and I feel grateful to have found him. 

Video of Tattoo Day! 

And the process began....

During the process I was in a very meditative state, chanting the Moola Mantra and visualizing the Sri Yantra located underneath the center spire of my special temple in India. I had some extra help by using hypnotherapy to help center and calm me. Of course being well hydrated and having light nutritious food circulating through the cells of my body helped the whole process go smoothly. 

| I focused on the Sri Yantra located below the center spire you see in this photo to calm and center myself during the 4.5 hour tattoo process. |

Everyone asks, "Did it hurt?" The truth is that I was calm and there was a sense of peace. There were moments that were intense but there was always a level of relaxation. Relaxing into the intensity was all I needed to do and before I knew it the moment had passed. I was not aware of how long the tattoo would take or where we were in the process, but during the last 10 shots of ink tears started running down my cheeks and there was a feeling of coming home. Then just as the tattoo had started, it was complete.

What is the end of this little tale? I don't feel there is one, this is a story of an amazing life that is just beginning...

To be a pure vessel of Light, a portal for the Cosmos to Awaken humanity.

Mind vs. Miracle

 

For years the mind has told me that my riding a bus instead of driving the route I would have been taking the day the 35W Bridge fell was just a coincidence. “Nothing to talk about here, nothing to see, nothing to be grateful for.” - Whatever I do, “Don’t say it out loud, you’ll sound stupid.” Well here I am saying it out loud and the thought of any naysayers (people thinking this is stupid) brings up an uncomfortability, because up until now I was too conflicted to consider this as a Miracle. It's crazy how powerful & persuasive the mind can be. "Who am I to think that I'm special enough for God to take care of me in such an extravagant way?" says the mind. Well, here I go anyways...

On July 1st 2007 I moved to NE Minneapolis. The location was a quick on/off ramp away from my work. All I had to do was hop on to 35W and go south and bam, I was at work. (See map below)

 PATH TO MY WORK VIA CAR: “A” was my work. “B”is my neighborhood. The Red box is the 35W Bridge.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was an easy & simple drive to my job.  So why after this move to a new house was there an urge to suddenly learn how to ride a bus? Public transportation over the independence of my sweet car was not my style, but there was an urge to “RIDE THE BUS!” I thought, “Well I can read the paper and relax instead of having to sit through traffic – yeah, that would be nice.” But I still wasn’t convinced. There was NO reason for me to want to ride the bus. The bus schedule was confusing. It wasn’t a straight shot ride. I had to go through downtown and transfer to a different bus one or two times before making it south to Bloomington where I worked. It was actually quite a hassle, but for some reason I was determined to “conquer the bus system" and so, I started riding the bus. Annoying as it was, my body was automatically going through all the motions to learn the bus route, stand in the rain, sit in the uncomfortable seats and ultimately get to work. If I liked it or not I was a bus rider.

On August 1st 2007 at 6:05PM exactly one month after I started my “Bus Adventure” and within minutes/or seconds of when I would have been driving over the 35W Bridge in my car, the bridge collapsed.  I’m not being dramatic. It was the path I would have been on, and the time I was scheduled to be on the bridge (considering the day, the traffic and the time I left work).

See below: Instead of being on the path of the red box (the bridge that fell), I was on a bus safely going over a different bridge (circled in yellow) blissfully unaware of how the Divine rerouted my life one month earlier to keep me safe.

RED BOX: 35W Bridge that collapsed.
YELLOW CIRCLE: Me safely riding a bus over this bridge.

Photos of the bridge that the Divine did not want me on:

Aftermath of the fallen 35W Bridge

Overview of the fallen 35W Bridge

After the fall:

The day after the 35W Bridge collapsed, there was shock of what had happened, but internally there was peaceful feeling came through that said, “Okay, you can drive your car to work now.” And just like that, without a second thought I simply started driving my car to work. No more bus for me. It was as if the urge, determination, the NEED to “conquer the bus system, “ all of it, just left my body and I knew that it was okay for me to start driving myself to work again.

 

The Contemplation:

Since that day in 2007 the Mind has been telling me that riding the bus during the bridge collapse was not a Miracle. Today I can see that in my Heart I've always felt I was taken care of that day, but as that peaceful feeling would start to set in, the Mind would start rationalizing why I wasn't worthy enough to be taken care of in this orchestrated kind of way...and how my story sounded stupid. This back and forth between the feeling and the thought was the conflict around this experience.

 

My beautiful husband told me, "There are no feeling in your head and there are no thoughts in your heart. - Which place would you rather be?" All of a sudden it clicked. It's impossible to be in both the head and heart at one time. Being drawn to my heart but pulled away to the thoughts was the suffering & confusion.

 

The Confirmation:

I was taken care of that day the bridge fell. It was Divine intervention that rerouted my path to work, and for this I am Grateful.
 

There are two Miracles here:

1) My safety on a day that had the potential to be filled with hard lessons.

2) The Gift of seeing the Mind and living through my Heart.

Photo Courtesy of: http://www.intraawareness.com/